A few months ago, while scrolling through my dash I found this nifty 5k color run called Color Me Rad. After watching various clips, I was surely convinced that I could do it. The problem was that I'm not much of a runner, or even have the kind of money to spend. Luckily, I found out that if you and a group of friends volunteer, you can enter on race day at no cost but you would need to help with set up. I told everyone, i knew and signed up over ten people. I was so excited, finally I was doing something that I planned on my own. Everything seemed perfect until people started dropping out of the race, one of the popular excuses was that it was too far or they forgot and now can't go. I was beyond livid how could everyone forget i sent reminders, updated event info on social media, and somehow in the midst of it no one seemed to get the message. of course i felt like crap, i put so much effort and time into planning this. After all these hit and misses. in the past (there was many misses) I was so assured that this plan was secure. I did everything i learned to do from all my mistakes. I was completely mortified and aware of how little people care...
Its 5:15 in the morning, I jump in the shower anxiously and hurry to put on my work out gear. I put little to no makeup, my aunts car was revving up I was ready to go. WE got there five minutes later than suggested people were already setting up. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach, i was so unprepared, no friends, no one but myself. I kept telling myself that this is an experience, one i might hate now but its better to do it and get over it then cry all day about how much of a loser I am. Like i have in the past. I got this neon volunteer tee and just kinda stood there. The emphasis of seeing all these other people in groups made me cringe. No one was left alone, they all had one person by their side. I might as well would've been asleep at home, it was early, i didn't eat and now this. not one hot guy to be seen either. I've figured that hot guys are a myth, they might exist but they sure as hell aren't looking my way. I can go to social functions, concerts, camping, even stupid school and NOPE nothing, I always blamed my location but its not where I am, and its now where I go so I give up on summer love.
Fast forward three hours later I'm put in some group of older way older people and two other teenagers or at least I think they were. I wanted to talk to this girl who was also alone but my social skills are about as useless as a fork when all you need is a spoon, idk i suck at writing and everything else in life. Obviously, having friends is a given so no wonder i wonder so much. After, waiting for a runner to come through. They gave us four boxes, each contained 25 pounds of pink powder to throw at runners, who are well duh running towards this jumper looking finale sign, everyone was pumped. I clearly underestimated this powder, it got everywhere, i could barely see so first the first rounds i unknowingly threw paint on the ground. I tried talking to this kid next to me but he was surrounded by all his friends he also looked younger than me. I just poured paint on crowds of hundreds of people. it was ridiculous how pink i was?! After, throwing the paint i was mildly disappointed none of this paint looked like the amazing shots that lured me previously into doing this, but overall its a great event. They didn't give us the formal thank you, I expected. I worked really hard for a face filled with pink paint, a pair of orange sunglasses, and a t-shirt. oh, and a big eff you from my friends/cousins.. but it was for a great cause. So whatever i did,m it may seem small but it'll pay off in the long run to someone who needs it. I could've had some amazing photos but we weren't allowed to take pics because our hands were so in demand. BUT whatever i can feel proud of myself for helping out a community of course this help was thickly disguised by pink powder but the nontheless, i did good.. GOOD 4 ME. It ended fairly quickly, so whatever I felt, I could be dealt with later. I seriously could not pass by crowds of people without being asked to take someones photon pictures to post on ig. So I was "that girl". I waited an hour and 30 minutes for my aunt. I felt so embarrassed walking to the car, I try to make it seem like I have tons of friends and that I live this very outgoing, social life in front of my family but I couldn't hide this or any of that. They all know who I am, and I just can't get over who I'm not.
fresh-faced idiot
before the madness,begun
my job consited of throwing this at the runners. I was staring at this for an hour, btw
basically this is IT
WHAT I EXPECTED
thank gaawd, pink is my fave hue.
care to see my chunky legs, and the makeover my shoes got
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