Woah. Pretty long title. That must mean only one thing it's late night and I'm vulnerable. Saturday was my cousin's fifteen. I tried my best to muster the courage to keep myself out of trouble but it always seems to linger into my life. After a week of searching,preparing, and wishful making-up. I was still so, unprepared for the day that was laid right ahead of me. I found the right dress after countless trips to department stores,being three sizes too small and all the crying that took place in such said department stores. Gaahhhdd I even got my makeup done by a pro. It was so cool. Like Karla, she hates me and that's not fair. I'm allowed to hate you I'm an angsty teen with a set of mood swings and chronic bitchface. I can't help it of scenarios in my head make my face frown vut she she can't she's an adult. With a job, responsibilities, and whatever adults have to do. So, why are the roles revered. I've had enough trouble and all I wanna do is file the cracks I've made to make my life a little smoother. So would it kill you if you could be civilized. Throughout the day little one-liner questions would reappear in my mind. Almost, as if it were on command. They were all bitter short and nothing more than little jelousy reminders. That I wasn't included into any of the activities that came with being in a fifteen. I didn't get to bond and get closer. I knew if I weren't in the court, that all of us would drift apart but see the thing about drifting is that it's not drifting if nothing was there to slowly tear apart. I mean all my relationships with them are built around my pathetic attempts at creating a strong, close, group of people. Something was in the air and it wasn't the confetti. Unless, it was doused in moody personalities than yes, that was in the air. I should really get over these people. Which is way better thought off on paper than in real life. Maybe if I weren't such a loser, I wouldnt care at all. Maybe if I had a life of my own I wouldn't depend on family parties for social outings.
It's hard and I can't get over it but why does everyone hate me? I get it I'm bitter and mean but I'm also really nice and there still hasn't been an inbetween established between both those things. I'm either really nice and have a care overload or don't care at all
With all the cumbia's, rancheras,and the random ass cuts of Criss cross songs in between takes. It's safe to say the dj sucked ass. So hey, here's the link to the song that sure as hell would have livened up night if it was on blast. (:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feA64wXhbjo&feature=youtube_gdata_player
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