I just wanna end it all give in and get out. Im so miserable i think the only thing thats been keeping me sane are my records but not even my favorite songs can fix this. I've been thinking about offing myself for the longest of time. Its not like i think about it all the time its just always in the back of my mind. I'm tired and lets face it my life isn't getting any better. My friends don't care my friends on the internet could care less. Every time I need someone its like I'm talking too myself and no one can hear me. My family is driving me insane. My mom of all people who screwed me up tries to find more ways to fuck me over. Its not like im emo now or anything. Its just that I cant handle it. I suck at dealings with everyday life. I can barely even write this without getting frustrated. My best friend of all people who I've been for countless of times cant even give me the time of day. Yet, when she needs someone im always there. Same with everyone else i befriend they eventually give up and forgot. i dont even know why im writing this or even talking about it. I just really wanna go away and never come back. so ill just cry like the miserable shrew that i am all night to the same songs till I decide on something.