In between days

Oh, today is the 23. I know i should pay more attention into my writing but lately everythings been slipping in my mind. I dont even know where I stand with anything. For the first in a very long time or no actually it was my first time. I was able to have fun drama free, bullshit free fun. I didnt have to worry about a curfew or getting caught. I was in so much pain but the pain was just a minor price to pay along the way. While, everyone was sitting in there homes waiting for something disatrous to happen. I was waiting in the cold ass weather to see my favorite band play. I know it's cheesy and a cliche but honestly if you haven't experienced it than you really don't know what your missing. I know I'm in this mood where I think I'm better than everyone. Like, if I wouldn't have gone. I probably would've gone to some family party. Where everyone gets out of there limit drunk and emotions are running high. With or without alcohol emotions are always at their tipping point Why? I guess everyones emotional. Some times I feel like they need there own reality show. Just to know how stupid they all sound. Like, my cousin who I'm already feeling wonky with because she put my other cousins into her fifteen and not me and even then I always feel left out and I'm the older one. They act like they have better things to do around me. I feel like I'm always trying to impress them with little white lies that just vanish into air. They always have something to say and I just stay quiet because if they even knew half of the hells that I deal with. They wouldn't know what to say. Which I'm used to. So, I'd rather say so and so thinks I'm cute and were going on a date. It just sounds visually more appealing. Okay, but anyways, some drama always brews up and this time I took no part in it. I wasn't taking sides, or giving my sweet ass time to someone who could care less. No my time is valuable and time isn't a thing to be toyed with let alone, my personal emotions. Plus, why would I put my 25 cents where they weren't needed. Some drama about oh, you know what with her party and how life it is to be her. Well good this is a good start for me I think my obsession has slowly lost my interest. I was always obsessed with hanging out with my cousins all the time. I thought it was cool that they're was a group of teenagers and we all were different. But we all found common ground and hit it off but I came to the conclusion that, that sounds more like some bullshit well scripted drama Created by some forty year old who don't know a thing
I was wrapped in this naive constricted character who only knew how to start fires and couldn't set them off. It's sad when all that consumes your mind is something that another dreads. Agh, I didnt want this to be long but ahh who cares I'm the only one who reads this anyways. And you know what I could give a fuck about about what they did and others drama. "don't go dipping you're feet if there not dirty." Plus, they didn't even care to bother with my appearance there. They didn't even ask if I was there. So fuck them.
Why am I trying so hard to fit in with fourteen year olds who just post a tiny heart on social medias and get one hundred likes. While I can't even get four if I tried. There selfish fucks all of them including the ones who didn't show up. . So yeah I'm fucking glad that when I wasn't there and they asked Brittany " where's you're sister?" She replied with " at a concert" you don't know how much satisfaction that gave me.

 

Kim Nekroman being a badass, like usual. Great show what an amazing night to be alive!!aaah