Attack!!! Of The Late Night Delirum. I'm at it again

I'm not feeling like my best granted even at my best I feel my worst. I've been bedridden for the last two months or so. (Oh, and its not because I broke my leg or something I wish that would be far more interesting than my actual story.)You know when I blew the candles to that $5 dollar cake from the supermarket. Wallowing in my misery because I didn't get a Sam Baker ending to my sixteenth birthday and my friends completely forgot about my bday. Well they didn't forget they just didn't care. My point is I had this hope this great big hope that things would finally change for me. That everything would get more interesting that the guy of my dreams would swoop in with a Harley and a leather jacket. My birthday was in May its December. I still can't get over how sad my life has become. The most exciting part about my day is staying up till 3in the morning. Just to catch a freaks and geeks rerun on Sun dance. Then, after that I test my eyes and see how much further I can go on. I find it so sad that the only person I can relate to in this four walled,one window world I live in is on a tv show that ended like twelve years ago. I hit my breaking point on one of these nights that the TV automatically shut off right when my greatly anticipated show had begun. I was beyond pissed I was enraged with my own patience. I had to wait ten minutes till the receiver started up again. Well,Me being me the impatient person that I am. I kept touching all the buttons desperate for any sign of my newly beloved show and OF course I touched the wrong button and it would take another twenty minutes. I was cussing out the TV, ready to cry, at one point I even started shouting to the receiver as if it were a real person. "Your not a receiver no, your a deceiver". Yeah._.
I don't know if it where late night delirium or being malnourished or if I was just going insane. I came to the realization that waiting up for a show that only lasts for an hour a day shouldn't be the highlight of my life. Yeah, it completely sucks knowing that I'm alone and the only person to blame is myself for it BUT I have to make an effort to make myself happy and not look for it in other characters people. As cheesy as it may be.